
One Tuesday night, I was walking in the
forest that is near the city that was covered in snow. Then, I saw many boxes, cardboard
boxes to be exact. I thought to myself, why are so many boxes here? Was it a
joke without a punch line? Next I decided to open all of those boxes; they were
full of bones. I didn’t understand at first, but then I saw this big box that
was wooden, smelled familiar, like a friend’s house. The only problem was that
the box was full of locked chains. Suddenly, it was decided. I was going to
open that box no matter what. I took the chains, and I tried to crack them.
They were very rusty, so it was very easy to break the chains. Still, after all
that effort, there was still a problem. The lock wasn’t corroded. After racking
my brain, I came up with a great idea. I kicked it with all my strength, but it
was no use. I heard something anyways, laughter. Surprised I started to look
everywhere, but I didn’t see anybody near. The laughter was noisier, I approached
the box. The chuckling came from inside it. Stunned by fear, I started to
leave, but I wanted to know what was inside. Was it a monster? I asked myself. All
of a sudden, I felt a key in my chest, and I wanted to try the key on the lock.
Amazingly it worked. In a rush, I opened the box. Inside the box were all my happy
memories, they were in a ball (similar to fortune tellers ball). Until this
day, I’m happy that I found that box. You may be wondering what happened with
the memory ball (that’s what I like to call it). I decided to leave it there in
the box because there is no use of living in the past. Since the day I found
the box, i want to create new memories every day.
This was an interesting piece of reading Sergio. I really like the end, I also think that we cannot live in the past and we must forward, heading to the future. 10/10 IGN great piece m8 ;)
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ResponderEliminari liked the end! i agree with you Sergio! Good job :)
ResponderEliminarCamila Almonacid.
Great! I got a tad nervous when you mentioned bones and a box that smelled like your friend’s house though, thought it was going to take a turn for the worst, haha!
ResponderEliminarI found a few mistakes, which are easy to fix. Paying a little more attention to commas will do wonders for your writing, and finding synonyms that will be the situation will also help out a lot! (for example: “louder” instead of “noisier”). I think these tips will help the readers enjoy your writing a lot more.
Wow. I was scared in the part of the bones but the end is really interesting.
ResponderEliminarWow. I was scared in the part of the bones but the end is really interesting.
ResponderEliminarI thought you were about to find someone almost dying in the last box ._. but, no lol I really liked the end of your story, it was beautiful ^-^
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